I have “Let Go” tattooed on my wrist.
Well actually, it’s written in Japanese Kanji characters. I wanted it to remind me to let things/people/feelings go, but I also wanted it to be a message for me, not necessarily something I wanted to blare our the world. Hence the reason it is in a basically unreadable language.
But it is beautiful.
And I know.
And in case you were wondering, I had a wonderful Japanese student who assisted me to make sure I didn’t have something awful actually written on me, and have since had it validated.
But I digress.
Let Go. Let it GO. If only it were that easy. Recently, one of my closest and dearest friends wrote me a long and scathing list of transgressions I had committed against him over the past few years, and the sum totally has probably ended, but most certainly changed the face of, what I thought our friendship was. It has been somewhat devastating and if someone told me to “just let it go” I would probably hurl the nearest, heaviest object I could at them.
It’s the “how” isn’t it? The “how” that catches us up. Living lively, easily, gently and authentically should be easy. Letting go of that which does not serve us should be so obvious and simple.
Oops. There I go – using the “sh” word.
So what tools can I pull out of my toolbox to help me? Surely after becoming a Certified Life Coach I must have tools that will help me know that I don’t have to scramble to justify myself and my actions to release (read: let go) the pain of being harshly judged for just being me. I truly want to release the sense of injustice, that I have to PROVE I did nothing wrong. I want to be okay with losing the unconditional love that I thought I had from this friend and be ok with it.
Cue deep breath.
I have let my personal yoga and meditation fall by the wayside this summer as I let other projects and priorities move to the forefront. I was reminded that Fall is a great time to reevaluate and renew our priorities and routines. It is probably time to get back on the mat.
So I am committing back to my meditation routine, and that includes Meta Meditation, the Loving Kindness Meditation. I am going to recommit to sending loving kindness to this person that is probably ending his time as my friend in my life. And I am going to love myself through it. I am not going to take his harsh judgments too much to heart – all of which are valid from his point of view but are just a part of who I am or his misinterpretation of my actions – and I am not gong to try to twist myself into a pretzel to change to fit into his mold of a friend. I am going to wish him well and move on.
Cue second deep breath.
If you are unfamiliar with Meta Meditation I am going to post a podcast teaching you how to do it on the site. It might help you to love yourself a little more actively, and help you “let go” a little less painfully. I hope so.
I’ll keep you posted on my journey. Would love you to share your experiences about your circumstances too. Feel free to email me at mel@livelivelybewell.
Those of us children or who are in education feel like we just got on a rollercoaster.
But then, life is always a roller coaster, isn't it?
The week before I went back to the classroom was kinda nuts, even for us. I hosted a surprise birthday party for my husband the Hot Bald Guy, my daughter was preparing to go back to college for her sophomore year and her first in an apartment, my son was in a automobile accident (scary, but all walked away) the night before he started his junior year in high school, the HBG started his twice-a-week two-hour one-way commute to his teaching job, my German daughter (exchange student who lived with us last year) returned for a visit with her whole family, the contractors for my kitchen decided that this was a good week to replace the floor and half of the cabinets, and I was launching this website and my coaching business.
I'm sure everyone has had weeks like this. The trick is to embrace them.
In my metaphor of life as a hike on a mountain path, this week for me was more like walking through the French Quarter in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. Incredible energy, multitudes of exciting things to look at and do, fun people abounding all around me, lots of good food and drink and adventure to be be found...
How do you handle these time of over abundance in your life? Do you enjoy the ride? Are you afraid you're going to fall or maybe pee yourself? Can you look at how you make it through without judging what you "should" be or how you "should" feel?
I made it through the week and got prepped for my classes, my son wasn't injured and my daughter got off to school. The HBG is into his commute routine, we all had a blast with the Germans and my kitchen looks fabulous even if most of my possessions are still in boxes in the living room.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas on how you get through times like this. But you also have to admit, it's nice to be on the other side.
That being said, I think it's happy hour. Happy weekend!
Life coach, yoga teacher, writer, college professor, theatre professional, mom, used to be wife... the order of emphasis changes daily, hourly, and often, moment to moment.